Author Topic: Grief  (Read 3053 times)

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Re: Grief
« Reply #15 on: April 02, 2018, 02:04:00 PM »
8 years ago I lost my sister to cancer, my initial thought was to be angry, and for the first time in my life I experienced depression.

When I realized my state of mind after her passing, I found myself once again.

Our journey begun with one visit at the doctor's office, she had some regular testing to do, and a couple of hours later; we got the dreaded phone call that she needed to come to the doctor's office.  I have worked in the medical field and know well that when you get that phone call, it's never good news.  I accompany her because I knew it in my heart that it was going to be bad.

The doctors found she had stage 4 cancer and gave her options, but not much of a good outcome in her diagnosis.  Rounds of Chemotherpay and Radiation only made her weak and weary, I saw how her life changed from being a super independent individual to needing total care at home.  I quit my job for one year to dedicate my time to care for her fulltime.  My sister and I had always been close, but it was not until then that I knew the quality person that she was in the fullest.  I thought that I was there to care and nurture her, but I too learned from her; I was able to grow personally in levels I had never been pushed to learn before, her courage made me realize my day to day worries were nothing, my life found new perspective and my compassion grew stronger. 
I saw her life become richer in the little time that she had, her love for life was outstanding, I will never take one day for granted anymore or complain about how I would rather want to be in bed than to get up. I treasure the time we spent together in that one year; I am forever grateful to her for showing me how to love without any restraint regardless of the circumstances.  Because of her selfless love, I have become who I am, even in the midst of her sacrifice and pain.

When I talked to her about death, (we both knew it was close) she told me that she had made her peace with God, and that she had no fear, she was ready.   She whispered me in her fragile voice, "You need to live your life because you deserve it, I will always be with you because we have shared our sorrows together"  So I tell you, grieving is a very normal stage of our lives at the loss of a loved one, but remember the joys and the sorrows that you had together, live a life with your loved ones now, without regrets, grudges or leaving it for later, now it's the time to build memories, those memories that will make that person feel alive within you at each breath you take.

Sorry for the losses of your loved ones.  May they RIP, may they sing with angels, and may one day we will all unite again.

Eclissi
« Last Edit: April 03, 2018, 02:58:03 PM by 💋꧁Eƈʅιʂʂι꧂💋 »

Re: Grief
« Reply #16 on: April 02, 2018, 04:46:46 PM »
Thanks for sharing this Eclissi.  I lost my Dad suddenly this week and today my grief is very raw.  People have spoken of all the stages of grief and the acceptance that one comes to eventually.  I am sorry for your loss and I know a sisters love is like no other as I have a sister and we share everything.  I pray that I too find the acceptance and the ability to smile when I remember Dad and the life we shared rather than the fountain of tears I currently experience.   :'(

Re: Grief
« Reply #17 on: April 02, 2018, 06:46:15 PM »
Dairy Moo,

I am deeply sorry about your loss, I too lost a brother suddenly 4 years ago, and it is an unbearable feeling because you're left with so many unanswered questions.
Time will heal you hunny, right now cry if that is comforting to you, whatever it is comforting do that, you owe no one an explanation of your feelings or your emotions.  Do know that eventually you do come to the realization of your loss, and you start to bring them back to life in the memories that you've created with them.
Your dad is and will always be alive in your heart.  You know where to find me if you need to talk.

Eclissi

Re: Grief
« Reply #18 on: April 03, 2018, 01:35:37 AM »
Having buried my husband and 2 of my adult kids I am familiar with grief. There are no words to describe it and it is something I could never wish upon anyone. My heart is with you both. After losing someone we love we are never the same.Wee literally start a new life defined before and after the death. Wanting to go back to where we were is such a strong desire. It becomes the new you. We laugh, live and love again but we are forever changed. We love deeper, the small things become even smaller and reality becomes so much more real. But all the time we continue to grow. We become more forgiving, less judgmental and so much wiser. A right of passage of sorts. Thank you for feeling safe enough to share, may your hearts mend. Remember there is no way to grieve or time limit. It just happens...one second, then one minute, soon one hour and then a day at a time. Hugs

Re: Grief
« Reply #19 on: April 03, 2018, 03:00:32 PM »
Cosmina,
You are so right, it happens suddenly that your heart finds healing, there is no rush in grieving as you said, there's only day by day or second by second.   Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing.

Eclissi

Re: Grief
« Reply #20 on: April 03, 2018, 10:21:06 PM »
I once read that grief is the feeling you get when you have so much love built up and have no where to release it.... that being said,  I have found the best way to deal with grief is to never stop loving/thinking of/talking about/ laughing with or talking to the one you lost! They will always be a part of you and what you will continue to do, they just will not be there physically! And if you can find somewhere else to use that love, you have building up inside you, it may not be in the same form it was used in before but someone/something out there is in need of love and you would be the perfect person to give it....
Just remember you're not alone on this new journey, your life will go on and hopefully you can find the path that leads you to happiness once again!

Hugs SFG

Chrisbullldog

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Re: Grief
« Reply #21 on: April 08, 2018, 11:41:22 PM »
 A harrowing , but all too common story.
The message is the same though , take reasonable care of our health..and live each day .

I've come across 3 people already this month dealing with cancer issues.

Re: Grief
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2018, 03:36:44 PM »
Sadly, having cancer has nothing to do with being healthy, of course we increase all sorts of disease when our weight isn't ideal, my sister was in top shape, always ate healthy, we had no history of cancer and yet she became our first family member with cancer, and lost her battle sadly.  Yes, take care of yourself, but cancer same as death does not discriminate.

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Re: Grief
« Reply #23 on: April 30, 2018, 05:16:43 PM »
My father died a couple years ago.  I was sad but happy he accomplished a lot during his life.  I have had several dreams of him that were quite endearing to me.