Going backwards to move forward, pull it apart, to put it back together again, better then before.
As of July 9th, 2020, I am once again wearing the collar of Shadow of Doubt.
It has taken me 2 years to admit to myself and Him, that the happiest I have been in years was when I was with Him.
I have decided to take a huge step back from chat, please feel free to assume that whatever rumor you are hearing about me is true, it must be true, it originated in chat.
Somewhere along life's highway I found myself becoming an angry and empty shell of a human being. It started to cost me, my family my friends and finally my soul. Something had to change, and that change had to start with me.
I'm working on my self improvement, peace of mind, self confidence and harmony. Most importantly, I am learning to love myself for the woman I am becoming.
In order for me to achieve this inner peace, I must rip myself apart and reconstruct my inner being. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done. So, right now in my life, I am working on me, because I am the most precious thing I have and I deserve the best I can achieve for myself. Someday I will embrace the woman I worked to become. Her very being will radiate with a kindness. empathy and understand for her fellow human being.
I meditate, (when my dog lets me) I practice mindfulness, (when my mind can actually focus) I journal like a mad woman, (it helps, especially if you are a mad woman) I sit out side at night and star gaze, and yes, I pray.
I dispose of anything toxic or negative in my life, including people.
When I am in chat and the conversation becomes unpleasant, I leave.
It's a nickname, not a testament to my sexuality.
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
I do not initiate whispers.
Yes, I am submissive. No, I am not your submissive.
I am NOT a lesbian, bi-sexual or into men under 60.
If you are a narcissistic, misogynistic, or a sociopath, please, move onto the next nick on the list.
It was the words that I fell for...and in the end, it was the words that broke my heart. Fortunately...it fixed my vision.
I am probably going to let your whisper scroll by, it's what I do.