I am no less, yet I am more.

So, I dreamt last night that my Master finally explained why he took me from my beloved Forest.

There, I am as strong as they come, and little frightens me. But since leaving, I have had to learn to depend on him and work with him; otherwise, neither of us would survive.

He also told me I needed to become softer. We both agree that his leaving—and my finding Ember and caring for her—was what truly began teaching me how, he now though finishes those lessons.

It is not that I had never depended on others. As part of a band of panther girls, we relied on one another. The greater challenge was learning to depend on a man.

I had to look to him not only for support but also for guidance, and at first, I struggled with that especially for things where I needed his permission. I have grown better at it, though, and I no longer mind. Even if I had a choice, I do not think I would resist.

In reflecting on my dream, I also realized that I am settling into my collar, almost naturally. What does that say about me?

I am no less the woman I was before, yet somehow, I feel like more. There is still much to learn and much more to grow into—not only for myself, but for him. Especially for him.

“It is said, in a Gorean proverb, that a man, in his heart, desires freedom, and that a woman, in her belly, yearns for love. The collar, in its way, answers both needs. The man is most free, owning the slave. He may do what he wishes with her. The woman, on the other hand, being owned, is institutionally and helplessly subject, in her status as slave, to the submissions of love.”

I think I understand that now.