to paraphrase W.C. Fields,
I don't drink water, because fish shit in it..

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter
 of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of
 Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria   found in feces. In other words, we are consuming
 1 kilo of poop..

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification
 process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.


       Remember:
Water = Poop,
  Wine  = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit!.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service! 
 

Heavenly Father

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they
pissed me off.

Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be
connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday.

And help me to remember: When I'm having a really bad day, and it
seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles
to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite
me. AMEN!