It was the best of years, it was the worst of years. to paraphrase a quote. So very true for me at least. 2018 was one of the happiest years in some time. Both my son and daughter got engaged. I learned i am going to get the second grandchild i have always wanted. She is coming to the family as a 7 year old, but have to admit over the past year have learned to love her already. There will be no step before her status as grand daughter. Just as my daughters fiance has never treated my granddaughter any different then would his own. /that alone showed me the kind of man he is from day one. I am getting a daughter in law who truly chalenges my son and helps to make him a better man. And turly loves and accepts him unconditionally, as he does her. What more could a mother ask for.
The federal non profit group i work for had one of our most successful symposiums yet, which has only led to an even bigger one coming up. After years of hard work and dedication , we are making a name for ourselves. They are coming to us instead of us to them. In a state where recreational cannibus has just become legal, we are showing there is still a need for education and research on the medical side. And we will get it done ...moving forward each and every day.
There were bad times as well.. the last 3 months were truly hell on earth for me. From last week of sept until third week of Nov, i lost an uncle who was like a second father, a brother to cancer, followed by a second brother just 3 weeks later totaly unexpected to a massive heart attack. My life was in a spin, litteraly with multiple attacks of vertigo on top of all else. And then the loss of a brother in law the day before Thanks Giving. The last quarter of the year was as horendous as was the first 3/4's wonderful.
Through it all i had a wonderful family who showed me we truly can all lean on one another. So many have told us during this time that we were so incredible the way we worked together, held one another up and did what needed to be done. To us it was just what we were taught to do...turn to one another when things get tough. That's what family does. I guess we take it for granted until others point out to us that all are not that way.
In all the insantiy i did some stupid things as well, i turned to people i thought could trust instead of those who have proven themselves to me. i let my emotions lead me rather then listening to my head and instincts telling me it was not right. But i was hurting, i was scared, and i ignored all the warnings, all the red flags and i trusted and let myself step blindly. But i woke up, thanks to some well needed kick in the pants by a very special friend. You know who you are... and thank you. Always i know i will get the truth from you....like it or not! lol But that kick in the pants is just what i needed. I had been feeling sorry for myself, playing the pity game and i was becoming self destructive. I was doubting myself, and my own abilities.. i was not trusting my judgements, not accepting myself to know who and what i am. So i took invientory and realized that i needed to make some changes.
i let go of the mistakes, I looked at where i want o be in the new year, and stepped away from the things and people who would stop me from being there. New Years eve was truly a night of letting go, and stepping into the New Year with a fresh start and a breath of fresh air. There was a post i saw that says it best:
I'm walking into 2019 with a clear heart and mind. If You owe me, dont worry about it - you'r welcome. If you've wronged me, you won - I've let it go. If we aren't speaking, it's cool - I wish you well. If I've wronged you, I apologize - it wasn't intentional. I am grateful for every experience that i recieved. Life is to short for pent up anger, holding grudges, & extra stress or pain. I WELCOME 2019!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
