( I don't apologize for the length of this OOC blog. It's an attempt to clear my head by writing my thoughts out. That being said...I warned ya. )
What a difference a few weeks can make. Do I still believe in Gorean honor? Yes, I do. But my understanding of that concept has changed. My perception of certain persons has changed, as well. I thought getting to know a few more people a little better would be a good thing. I suppose in a way, it was. One of my biggest faults is that I tend to be a bit naive about people and their intentions, as well as their capabilities when faced with a true challenge. Perhaps I expect way too much, but really no more than I expect of myself. I expect people to stand by their word, to stand up and be counted, especially if they want a say in what happens around them. Of course, I understand it's easier to sit on the sidelines, watching and waiting to attack or belittle or criticize, or sometimes worse, to do nothing at all. I could go into much further detail, but it is sufficient to say...lessons learned.
I’m disappointed and dispirited at the meanness on all sides that I’ve seen in the blogs and in various groups. The bullying, the “mean girl” jealousy, the petty and childish expressions, the haughtiness, and frankly, the bat shit craziness of it all is just too much. Honestly, the lack of respect for each other as human beings is beyond the scope of anything I’ve ever seen in a group social setting.
To paraphrase a quote from one of my favorite movies, “I don’t understand people who claim to love Gor, but clearly hate Goreans.”
This negative representation is beneath us and the honor with which we purport ourselves, or our characters, to have. Think about the person you love the most. Would that person approve of the way you behave here? The words you use? The way you treat people? Would you treat that special person in the same manner? Would you speak and act in the same way were you to be face to face? Has common decency become that irrelevant? Who am I to judge you and who are you to judge me?
With regard to the warning by Buzzen to Gor role players, I would add this. It doesn't matter whether something is posted on a public forum or hidden away in a private group. They are the same words by the writer of the Character and the same reflection upon the character of the Writer. Ugly is still ugly, whether it is put on bright display or shrouded in the dark. Is it really all that puzzling as to why there is a continuous and steady decline in the numbers? I had written in a previous post, “I know we can do better.” I’m not so sure I believe that anymore. Maybe that was the lesson I really needed to learn to be a “real” Gorean.
I live by a simple, personal mantra - if something doesn’t bring me JOY, I eliminate it from my life. Thus, the "Principles of Gorean Role Play" group that I attempted to facilitate, for no other reason than the betterment of Gor, will soon be closed to the public and repurposed. I’m simply no longer confident of the possibility that a majority consensus would be tolerated or accepted in Buzzen Gor. In the end, I do believe the group served a purpose. It was a fair effort. The membership, by majority, was able to pass a definitive, clarified rule regarding the important topic of Dualling, with a total of 27 votes cast ( 24 aye, 2 nay, 1 abstaining ). The vote was preceded by an extensive discussion which was rarely combative, mostly positive and constructive. While a bit tedious at times due to the newness of the process and the complexity of the first topic chosen for discussion, it was arguably far beyond anything that had been achieved in recent history by a majority of role players and certainly beyond anything accomplished within the multitude of contentious blog posts. Imagine what might have been accomplished if egos and apathy hadn’t circumvented the effort.
Regardless, I’m choosing to return my full attention to my Master and MY role-play, where I and my character will adhere to the rules and principles of role-play adopted by my Home. Thank you to my Master, who allowed me to follow my heart with great patience on His part. Thanks to those who actually truly supported the effort with their participation and presence. It wasn’t for me - it was for YOU as a collective. Still, I was able to learn a lot in my research while developing and facilitating the group. The education ended up being more than I bargained for in the process.
I wish you all well, I truly do. I encourage you to tend to your own character and focus on your role-play. That is why we are all here, isn’t it?
~ the typist of amari
(I am leaving comments open, though I don't feel any real obligation to do so. Negative comments, if any, will be promptly deleted.)